Moonchild

Oh little moon child in dandelion field
Toes in the grass, a flower in your hair
Magical eyes waiting for moon  revealed
Sun going down, painting amber across the sky

Gentle breeze blows, swaying deep emerald trees
Butterflies flutter, as your lips let out a precious sigh
Moon enters night,kissing softly stars shinning bright
Beautiful glow captivating your warm and tender heart

Oh little moon child, your soul now dances in the halo of light

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A Man Alone

by Stephen Orlen

I hated breaking up and I hated
Being left, finding myself in an apartment
With an extra set of silverware and a ghost,
Impatient to be gone. Then to summon up
Who I was before the bed was full with woman.
To shift the street-mind from getting to
To slowing down and window shop. In the bar down the street,
To let my eyes simplify again, and make no judgments,
And breathe in the smoke that drifts
Through one body then another,
And find myself close enough
To whisper into a woman’s just-washed hair
And inhale that ten thousand year old scent.
To memorize a phone number.
To learn to say goodnight at her door.
To keep my hands in my pockets, like a boy.
To open the heart, only a little at a time…

Deliberating ..

If a blog is somewhere to expose your deepest thoughts and feelings, then perhaps I should make a new one, keep the address to myself and use it for ranting and deliberating. Or maybe, I should just do as I always do and just keep them to myself…..

I was told last week that I am a person that ‘everyone likes’. What sort of comment is that? Is my life so insignificant and pointless that I am here just to please everyone? Perhaps so. I have always, always put other peoples feelings before my own. Always given consideration to what I say and do, so that I don’t cause hurt or upset. Somewhere along the way though, I lost me. I am sure I am inside somewhere, there are little thoughts and words that reverbrate in my head, protesting that I too have feelings, I too can be upset, hurt and angry, without the whole world coming to a halt, without anyone noticing or even caring.

I spent the whole day smiling, a false painted on smile, nothing deep and meaningful about it, but hey, I’m always ok, so who would know?

My epitaph. ‘Here lies Katie, everybody liked her’ – except that I don’t like myself, at all!

Holding Back

I didn’t post here for quite a while. After the last post I couldn’t really think of anything to say.
The funeral was held on the day I had booked to travel. I debated, discussed, deliberated and decided. Life goes on, it always has and it always will. Life – fragile, sacred, no matter how many the years, there are never enough. With love and thoughts, we carry on, and slowly the pain lessens, slowly the sun shines again. But the memories remain.

Happiness is fleeting , hold on to what you can!

Wasted

Why do they do it? WHY, why why!

24 and dead, leaving a little child and a whole load of heartbroken friends and family. She was such a beautiful child, a lovely young woman, and now she is gone.

My heart is throbbing with pain, I cannot stop crying, and it’s all pointless cos nothing will mend it.

I want arms and hugs, love and kisses, and reassuring words. I have none of those and just have to support those who are even more affected than I am.

Life is a bitch, and sometimes, I just bloody well hate it!

Frustrations

Today, for no reason whatsoever, I am in a really miserable mood. I awoke this way and, so far, nothing has made me feel better. Nothing is interesting. I cannot read, my words have deserted me, so I have nothing to write about, I cleaned all the house and threw out junk, but even that didn’t work.

No interesting post, no music, no poetry, I’m just bored and tired and irritated and annoyed with myself and I have no idea why. Dammit! Perhaps I am just that way out, or maybe, it’s time to take stock of my life. I don’t even feel like doing that right at this moment though.

I spend a huge part of my time helping people to sort out their problems, reassuring them when they feel unhappy. Why is it when I feel like this there is no one there?